A few weeks ago, I decided to make a visit to Wal-Mart. I didn’t have any purpose in the visit, and I didn’t even bother to check the grocery list before leaving the house. This is something that I do from time to time, and it is never a good idea. The inevitable result is my purchasing something that I don’t need, and, in many cases, don’t really even want, but which I feel I must buy, only to justify my trip, which I knowingly initiated without justification.
Now, I can’t deny that such outings don’t typically follow the ingestion of the smoke of cannabinoids. In fact, that is very much the typical circumstance. This is likely the reason that, on the specific instance of which I am presently telling, I forgot to look at the grocery list before leaving the house. Actually, I did think of the grocery list after I locked the door, but it was too late at that point. I had to catch the traffic light, and the lock on that damned door always sticks, slowing me down.
That fucking traffic light. If you don’t catch it, you’ll wait there for seventeen years, and that’s God’s truth. Of course, as the Bible clearly illustrates, God has a really screwed up sense of time, so that explains that. It’s probably more like two minutes, and that is way too long. It wouldn’t be so bad if there was traffic there, but there isn’t. You just sit there and stare at a desolate road, and feel like a dunce because the only thing keeping you from moving is a light that holds no real power over you. It’s not like red light has the ability to arrest your engine’s power. Not at all. Police have the ability to arrest me, though, if I run a traffic light. Well, I’m sure that isn’t true, but they can write me a ticket. Goddamn tickets can break you fast.
Continue reading Nothing that follows is factual…
Have you ever seen those really cool pumpkin carvings that look like photographs? Yeah, me too. I wondered to myself, aloud, while alone in my office, “How do they do that?” It came to me that, of course, they must first start with a photograph. I reasoned from there that, naturally, they must convert the photo into a two tone image, as the pumpkin carving will be composed of only two “colors” (either pumpkin or not pumpkin). Well, from there, I knew just what to do. Read on, and so will you!
