My Cell

Original publication date: January 22nd, 2006

I look in the mirror, and I loathe what I see.
For some reason, life is less than appealing to me.
The sickness in my gut, it comes from my mind.
Introspection, not what I was hoping to find.

I’d think I could find peace, but I don’t know how.
My soul aches at every thought, every sight, and sound.
I can’t escape the biting tortures inside my head.
This side of life makes me wonder, “What if I was dead?”

Flee from one thing to another, but no solace find
From the dark and lonely cell inside my mind.
Oh, for just a fleeting moment if I could have peace,
Perhaps that would do the job to put my heart at ease.

Why can’t I have what so many other people have,
A stable life, some thoughts of love, and real smiles, real laughs.
Is it wrong for me to want what isn’t granted to me?
Can I not judge that life does not lay down things equally?

It seems I alternately spill my tears and my blood,
With caution from not either to build a flood.
So damned to hide the remnants of the flow of these,
I find it drags me further from the life I seek.

Once I felt true joy; I was in love; I had peace.
Now I wonder, “Was it simply a grand deceit?”
At this moment it is hard for me to conceive
That this life will ever give what I want to me.

I’m trapped in my cell.
Screaming inside
My mind.

I’m toiling away,
After what I
Can’t find.

I’m trapped in my cell.
Walls are closing
On me.

Can’t open my eyes.
The light I can
Not see.

Won’t someone please,
Someone please
Free me?

Won’t someone please,
Someone please
Free me?